Scourge's Little Surprise
by Sir Wilda Skye
Summary: Scourge is dead, and it isn't very fun. However, he hatches a plan to cause mischief down below him... Rated T for awkwardness.
1. A Destinystar is Born

**Hello, everykitty! If you don't know me, I shall introduce myself simply as "Sir." Why? I'll tell you now I might be popping up in this story. Also, the fourth wall will probably be smashed into tiny pieces, so go to your local market to get a piece :). Anyway, enjoy my abomination!**

* * *

Scourge sat in a strange white world. It was troublesome being where he was, because there was nocat else there. He liked to call it the Place of No Creation because:

1) Nothing was there. No trees, no sky, no prey, not even a ground.

2) The Erins were _supposed _to make him a place to live, which he has pestered them about for so long, but those imbeciles never did, so he was just lumped here.

He soon realized he was bored. Not bored in the way that the thing that he was doing wasn't interesting, in the way that there was not a single thing to do. Scourge twiddled his non-existent thumbs, he tried to write a song, he floated along in the endless space. But nothing would satisfy the never-ending boredom that gnawed at his mind. At last, he had an idea. Why not make an Earth up there? But how? First he would have to assume the role he deserved as leader of the forest. Wait, no. Someone would rise up against him, and due to the low IQ of the Erins, good would always win against evil. The truth hurt. Wait, just because he was not ever possibly going to be leader of the forest doesn't mean he couldn't assume his role as forest _troublemaker_. He could certainly destroy the clans, even if he was not the one devious grin formed on his pitch black face. He was going to hatch a plan. Now just to find a problem often occuring on the internet...

Trolls? That's what he's trying to be.

Illiteracy? How is that going to destroy the clans?

Viruses? Don't think that you can e-mail a virus to somecat interdimensionally.

Scourge sat around, his mind searching for a problem he could cause, and nothing was coming up. He was getting really frustrated, as nothing he was thinking of was just... right. Suddenly, an idea popped into his head. A mary sue! Those were just annoying! Now to get the Erins to help him make a Mary Sue to send down...

* * *

Firestar roamed the lands of his beautiful clan. The queens lay in the nursery, the kits jumped playfully, and he knew that ThunderClan was surely the clan that ruled the forest. Suddenly, a shadow came behind him. He turned back to see a white cat with one red eye, one violet eye, and beautiful sprawling wings. "I am Destinystar." she introduced. Firestar wanted to shoo her out of his camp, but between her beautiful voice and her graceful figure, he simply could not muster the power to do so. "Hello," he said, starting to fidget.

* * *

Scourge cackled from up above as his poor half-brother fell victim to his trap. He had made the bane of the forest. He had made... A MARY-SUE!


	2. Destinysue

**HAI GUYZ! :D DIS IS GONAN BE MAY BEST WORK EBAR OKAY? NO FLAMEZ! By the way, tanks to Hart B. SHAHD for da spellign!**

* * *

Firestar stared into Destinystar's entrancing eyes. Sandstorm was watching them, but she was okay with it because Destinystar is awesome and she stared too. All the other cats in the clan were ogling her, even the she-cats, apprentices, elders and kits. She was simply beautiful. Only one cat was suspicious about her, and that was Brambleclaw. But everyone ignored him because he's just an emo prep.

* * *

Scourge stared down at the lovestruck cats. "They love her!" he howled. "They love her! They're such imbeciles that they can't recognize she's a Mary Sue!"

* * *

Different toms started fighting for Destinystar. "Relax, relax," she said in her elegant voice. "I am so beautiful that I shall have all of you as my mate." The toms looked up at her with glittering eyes and rushed to her. Dey all wanted to have sexytimes with her. And she was so amazing she could probably do it. They made her a throne of diamonz and she sat on it like a queen. She gazed down at the cats belo her. Suddenly Firestar rushed to her paws.

"My queen, ThunderClan already knows this, but I am giving ThunderClan to you because you're awesome." Firestar said.

"I accept ThunderClan." Destinystar said.

Everybody cheered for Destinystar. She was now leader of thunderclan.

* * *

And that made Scourge proud. Of course, it was easy for Destinystar. She was a mary sue, they were broads and dumb jocks. How hard could it be? I mean, similarities between clan cats and BloodClan cats aren't even conceivable! Obviously, clan brains were much smaller than BloodClan brains, it was scientific fact. He just knew it. Anyway, back to the sue.

* * *

Cats slaved under Destinystar, making her sculptures in her likeness. Toms blanketed her, some sleeping in her soft white fur, some ogling her, but the cat who was most interested in her was Fireheart, who, strategically placed on Destinystar's belly, gazed seductively into her eyes. "Oh, Destinystar..." Fireheart purred, a small, mischievous smirk on his face. "I love you so. Let us have kits together."

"Oh, yes, we shall have all the kits, and we shall name them Dirtkit, Firehearthasaprettyfurkit, and Iloveyoufireheartletushavesexandmakelotsofkitsbeca usewedestinystarandfireheartareawesomekit.

* * *

Scourge cackled. They were all horrible names, and he knew it! Of course, he knew Fireheart would accept those names because Destinystar was a sue and everybody loved her no matter what she did. In fact, he would bet his toothed collar that he would.

* * *

"Oh, Destinystar, those names are beautiful! I would be proud to have those kits for our clan!" Firestar beamed.

* * *

"Knew it." Scourge muttered with a smirk.


	3. Destiny's Darker Sue

Scourge watched as his pitiful brother's love was swallowed by the sue he had created. His plan was working. Suddenly, however, he began to feel another emotion other than pity and happiness. Scourge felt a slight tinge of jealousy. He gasped and staggered back. His sue was taking him over! As if on cue, Destinystar materialized with an evil smirk. Her left eye was now a royal purple, and the right was a neon red.

"Scourgy, dear!" she called.

"No, please..." Scourge begged.

Destinystar placed a paw on Scourge, pushing the small black tom down easily. "Oh, my dear. How do you feel about me?"

"I hate you - I mean love - I mean hate - love - hate -" Scourge then began breaking into a sob, which he only could have done in Destinystar's presence due to her sue-ness rubbing off onto him.

"Shh... it's okay..." she said, laying onto him. She had compromised his mental health, and the white she-cat knew it. "I am your goddess now."

Scourge's eyes popped open and he staggered back again. "Wait, this is only your trickery! My threne hath been woven by thy neeld of lies and colored with your dyes of your gimmor! Well, thou art grossly mistaken to think your greenly girdous actions would succeed! Thy horrid wench, I shall cleave thine ivory physique in twain!" And with that confusing paragraph, Scourge galloped up to Destinystar and attempted to, well, cleave her in twain. However, Destinystar simply used her magical psychic powers to make him choke to death. Her evil eyes looked down on him as he was on the brink of death's boundaries, about to tip.

"Scourge, you are no longer my master." she snarled. "I am my own entity, and you are nothing more than a flea playing a bear. You may seem to be a menace to those imbeciles down on Earth, but I know better. And I can just flick you off and kill you. Again, and again, and again."

Destinystar released Scourge from her telekinetic grip. "Goodbye, Scourge. Have a nice eternal nap." she mewed with a smirk as she flew back down to Earth. "May you never awaken."


	4. The Destiny of the Stars

**Meanwhile, with Brambleclaw...**

* * *

"Hey, Brambleclaw~!" Fireheart called.

"What?" he growled back.

"The ceremony of the feeding of her highness Destinystar is going to begin soon! Come on!"

"I-I'll be there in a minute!"

"Okay, just be sure to get here in time!"

"Okay!"

Her highness Destinystar? _HER HIGHNESS? DESTINYSTAR?! _Great StarClan, what was this world coming to?! Destinystar had taken over ThunderClan! He had to defeat her; somehow, some way, there must be a way to save his clan from implosion. But how? Destinystar was an all-powerful entity. Everyone in the clan loved her; if he tried an uprising, they would surely try to kill him, bring him to the sue, and then he would be a mindless slave just like the rest of them. But if he tried to defeat her on his own, his survival would be impossible. What was he going to do?

"Hey Brambleclaw, you coming?" Fireheart called impatiently.

"Yes!" Brambleclaw said as he ran out of his den.

* * *

Brambleclaw cowered in his den. He didn't know the "ceremony of the feeding of her highness Destinystar" would last all day! All they did was make Destinystar food while she ate it! He could swear he was going crazy! He was slowly spiraling into the never-ending darkness of insanity! No, no, this is what Destinystar would want. The best thing to do is just to stay strong. Heart and mind still racing, but body tired and weak, Brambleclaw eventually fell asleep.

* * *

That night, Brambleclaw had a weird dream. He was in StarClan, and a red cat with green eyes sat in front of him. The cat simply stared at him, unmoving and silent. Just as Brambleclaw was about to break the silence, she spoke.

"Hi Brambleclaw! How are you?"

"Not good. Where am I?"

"Don't you know that already?"

"Oh yeah, I do."

"Then why'd you ask me?"

"I dunno. Anyway, why am I here?"

"Oh yeah, that. There's a prophecy that I need to tell you, fresh from Bluestar."

"Then tell me."

"Okay, I will."

"That'd be lovely."

"So I'll do it."

"Lay it on me, sister."

"I'll lay it on you right now."

"Okay."

"Okay, my tail! I'll definitely do it!"

"Okay, then do it!"

"Okay!"

"Hurry up and say it already!"

"Okay, okay! Our time is limited anyway.

_ Their destiny is corrupted_

_And cats are messed up in the head_

_The three top cats must leave no trace_

_And pad to a forbidden place_

_Climb the mountains, miss the monsters,_

_Pad through grass, earth and firs_

_There you shall find the nest of white_

_There you'll find the one who shall smite."_

"That was a really long prophecy." Brambleclaw said.

"Bluestar was high on catnip." she explained.

"Ah."

"Anyway, it's dawn now, so I must go back. But good luck defeating Destinystar!"

"Thanks."

As the red cat that Brambleclaw forgot to get the name of disappeared, she called,

"Brambleclaw!"

"What?"

"Brambleclaw!"

"What?"

"Brambleclaw!"

"What?!"

* * *

"Brambleclaw!" Fireheart shook Brambleclaw with all his might.

"WHAT?!"

"We need to get ready for the ceremony of the feeding of her highness Destinystar!"

Brambleclaw looked at Fireheart defiantly. His amber eyes bore a hole in Fireheart.

"No."


	5. The Sue's Destiny

"No?! NO?! What do you mean, NO?!"

"No."

"Destinystar is going to kick your furry little tail if you don't show up!"

"Listen, Firestar -"

"_Fireheart!_"

" - No, Firestar - you've got to snap out of it! You're a leader with many wonderful lives ahead of you and she's nothing but a manipulative mary sue!"

"No she isn't! She's the leader of this clan and you shall _respect her!_"

Brambleclaw's mind flashed back to the prophecy.

"_The three top cats must leave no trace"_

He needed to get Firestar to snap out of it to fulfill the prophecy! He knocked the ginger tom off of his paws, desperate to get his attention.

"Please, Firestar, just listen to me. She is way too powerful for her own good and too evil to be the leader of this clan. We need to fulfill the prophecy and _defeat her!_"

"N-no!"

Brambleclaw sighed and everything was quiet for a while. "Tell me, Firestar, do you know any other cat with wings?"

Firestar looked up at Brambleclaw, the anger slowly dissipating from his face. "N-no, I guess not..."

"No you don't. And tell me, have you seen any cat that has a purple _or _a red eye, much less a purple _and _a red eye?"

"N-no..."

"No you haven't. And tell me, has any other cat just waltzed in and taken over the clan with sheer beauty?"

"No..."

"No they haven't. You see? She's a demon, not a leader."

"I g-guess you're right." As logic and common sense started to return to Firestar, he slowly went back to normal.

"We need to defeat that sue."

"That's the Firestar I know and love! C'mon, let's get Cinderpelt!"

"Okay!"

And with that, the leader and the deputy rushed out into the medicine den.

Cinderpelt was mixing a strange stew in a giant cauldron. She turned around and noticed Firestar and Brambleclaw's panting bodies. "Oh hello!" she greeted. "I assume you have ingredients for the non-believer stew?"

"Cinderpelt, we need your help!" Firestar hissed.

"Wait, non-believer _stew?_" Brambleclaw muttered worriedly, eyes wide.

"Help with what? If it's collecting ingredients, I can't help you. Royal orders." Cinderpelt mewed.

"_Royal orders?!_" Brambleclaw hissed.

"No! We need you to help us defeat Destinystar!" Firestar growled.

Cinderpelt froze and glared at them, her fur standing on end. "What?! BLASPHEMY!" she screeched.

"No, it isn't!" Firestar howled. Cinderpelt tried to run out of her den, but Firestar tackled her to the ground before she could.

"Great Destinystar! Blasphemy, now RAPE?! Destinystar's word!" Cinderpelt yelled.

Brambleclaw scowled. This was the last straw! "NO! NOT DESTINYSTAR'S WORD! _YOUR WORD!_" he screeched. He angrily stalked up to Cinderpelt and tensely exhaled.

"Tell me, Cinderpelt, do you know any other cat with wings?"

Cinderpelt looked up at Brambleclaw, the anger slowly dissipating from her face. "N-no, I guess not..."

Firestar looked up at Brambleclaw. "Wait, hold on, isn't this the same bit you gave me?"

"No you don't. And tell me, have you seen any cat that has a purple _or _a red eye, much less a purple _and _a red eye?"

"N-no..."

"Hey! This is!"

"No you haven't. And tell me, has any other cat just waltzed in and taken over the clan with sheer beauty?"

"No..."

"Stop it!"

"No they haven't. You see? She's a demon, not a leader."

"I g-guess you're right." Cinderpelt mewed, giving up the same way as Firestar did.

Firestar glared up at Brambleclaw.

"What? I had writer's block!" he explained.

With a groan, Firestar got up off of Cinderpelt.

"Okay, now..." Brambleclaw got some sunglasses from a random place and put them on.

"Let's change our destiny."

"YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

Firestar and Cinderpelt looked at him flatly.

"What? Too sue-n?"

"Ugh!"


End file.
